Tweets of the (egads! many) Week(s): 08 Jun 12

Pardon me while I brush the dust off this here blog....
Wow, it's been a while, so apologies to the scores (aka tens) of worshipers feeling lost without an update. You know how it goes: work, training, finishing a WIP, revising, writing a query letter, ripping up the query letter, redoing the query letter, wondering if you should take up bowling instead of writing, conquering small patches of earth that are left unguarded, ruling that patch of eath with an iron fist...you know, normal stuff.

Anywho, no better way to get back into the swing of things than with:

CM's TWEETS OF THE WEEK*:

@SamSykesSwears: It is not legal to slap someone who brags about not reading books, but it is the right thing to do.

@shannynmoore: Campaigner knocked on my door & asked to "talk to the man of the house". I brought him my Mr Coffee maker.

@GeorgeTakei: Budweiser's "Platinum" beer is an edgier, more alcoholic version of what we were used to seeing. Kind of like Lindsay Lohan.

@SuzBrockmann: I want to order a pair of pants for the waitress.

@wizdom: God doesn’t have Twitter, but I follow Him.

@Scotzig: Writing is a job, a talent, but it’s also the place to go in your head. It is the imaginary friend you drink your tea with in the afternoon.

@victoriastrauss: A-plus again! RT @CaptRaspberry: @victoriastrauss You piqued my curiosity. Can we get a peek at whatever brought your irritation to a peak?

@JensBookshelf: How do non-daydreamers get through the day? If I don't spend time in my imagination, I'd go stir crazy.

@longshotauthor: I used to be a practical joker, until I took a whoopee cushion in the knee.

@TyrusBooks: If you insist you don't believe in the power of books, I'll insist you haven't read the right ones.

@AH_AdamHuges: There are some truly amazing, wonderful people in this world. And, there are some who, in defiance of the laws of physics, both suck & blow.

@Papa_Kosh: H: I need to get a closer look at those girls. Me: you're gonna be saying that for the rest of your life.

@QuietMountain: #Wisdom #Quotes " A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something." ~Frank Capra

@scalzi: Wait, a social network I barely use has bought an app I don't use at all with money that's not mine? THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

@Broslife: Sometimes I wish I didn't live with this curse of being so awesome.

@Pres_Bartlet: The First Amendment means you have the right to make an ass of yourself. It doesn't ensure that your employer has to keep paying you after.

@jimchines: Reminder to self: the first draft does not have to be perfect!

@Petermball: It's worth shouting NINJAS! randomly every hour, just in case some are hiding nearby. 99% of the time you look crazy, but that other 1%...

@McilroyRory: If anyone is having a bad day, remember that today in 1976 Ronald Wayne sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800. Now it's worth $58,065,210,000.

@TeresaMedeiros: Writing Facebook status updates and tweets won't make you successful. Writing books will make you successful #writechat

@DiscordianKitty: If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.

@scalzi: Just watched "Moneyball." SPOILER ALERT: The balls are not, in fact, made of money.

@AbielleRose: If a zombie outbreak happens in Vegas does it stay in Vegas?

@Regan_Summers: P.P.P.S. If the Invisible Woman was into bondage, could Mister Fantastic tie her up...with himself? Because that *would* be fantastic.

@chavelaque: "Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact." -- George Eliot #quoteoftheday

@Todd_Roy: @kpereira @timmyjoe Meh! Shrimp missing their eyes will now be called "Shrmp" A tasty new food treat!

@BronxZoosCobra: Today is National High Five Day! So everyone come by the zoo today and give me a...oh, right. Nevermind. Stupid national human holiday.

@geardrops: At airport, surrounded by businessy doodz on their iPads. Using my iPad as a hard surface for my My Little Pony Coloring Book. #likeaboss

@DeathStarPR: If Force choking idiots is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

@AuthorMJFifield: Well, it's a good thing a certain delivery guy's shorts are brown because I'm pretty sure my dogs just scared the shit out of him.

@Colin_Hanks: Ever wonder what they called "Buddy Holly" Glasses before Buddy Holly? I'll tell you the answer: GLASSES.

@Harkaway: I still read "bear with me" as "please put on a furry costume and roar alongside me".

@MensHumor: "I think I am going to have sex with the guy who is wearing his cell phone on his belt." Said, no woman ever.

@therejectionist: Is it normal to experience continuous feelings of loss and anguish that Corporal Hicks is not a real person?

@DavidRoads: Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. -Helen Keller

@DeathStarPR: If you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably just being realistic.

@slackmistress: Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk.

@wilw: From dinner: LeVar says, "How many times did Wesley save the ship?" I reply, "as many times as Geordi got laid. ZING!" many LOLs were had.

@wilw: Another from dinner. Me to LeVar, re Hunger Games: anything that gets kids to read is awesome... But you don't have to take my word for it.

@JenBookshelf: When I am god emperor of the universe, mornings will be outlawed.

@aeroplanegirl: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together: Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.

@adamolsen: I turn the other cheek cause it's my good side.

@anmatcoburn: @scalzi Hipster Mennonites know about bandsaws you've probably never heard of.

@pattonoswalt: Meh. MEHHHHHHHHHH!!! -- hipster ghost

@DeathStarPR: Bad news: Kim Kardashian MIGHT be getting her own sitcom. Good news: if that happens Earth WILL be getting a laser to the face.

@ImTracyMorgan: What's the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got fat.

@ChuckWendig: The only way to write is to write.

@FakeEditor: DAMMIT, PEOPLE, WRITE MORE BETTER!!

@thesulk: Dancers must have been super excited 34 years ago because it was almost 5/6/78...

@TheMarkTwain: It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

@ChuckWendig: When we say our characters do things we don't expect, what we mean is our subconscious mind is awesome and wants control for a little while.

@LopoLaugh: You can never be good at things you say you're not good at.

@BigPoppaMatthew: What doesn't kill you makes you wish it did.

@Rachel_Aaron: Sometimes you have to write the book in order to learn how to write the book #amwriting

@acetachyon: New Higgs rumor: The Higgs boson is dating Snooki.

@DianeDooley: Crap. Coffee down my cleavage. How the hell can I miss a mouth the size of mine?

@JensBookshelf: A list of things you don't need to find in your toilet when you really need to pee. 1. A frog. 2. I hope that is all.

@Storymoja: Comics are a gateway drug to literacy.” ― Art Spiegelman

@JaninePreacher: A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon...

@KalebNation: So for all the writers out there wanting to be published: no it never gets old, and yes it's 100% worth all the work you're doing.

@raecarson: Growing as a writer means nothing you've written in the past satisfies. Here's to a long career of wincing at previous work. *raises tea*

@NotAbsoluteWrit: Despero, the AW wine. Flavors of coffee, printer ink and tears; an aroma evoking old flame wars and half-forgotten rejections. Coming soon.

@AuthorMJFifield: "Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck." ~Joss Whedon #JossisBoss

@cerebralbalsy: You guyssss. You don't have to send me a link. Just tell me you want me to block you.

@AlanHungover: Next time you're at a McDonald's Playplace and someone asks you, "Aww which one is yours?" Say, "I haven't picked one out yet..."

@JustMindBlowing: 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die.

@DeathStarPR: #RulesOfTexting If someone sends you a long text and you reply with, "K", we get to blow up your planet.

@djpaultavares: How to Save the World: 1) Make a document titled "The World". 2) Save it.

@alan_tudyk: I want to replace, "thank you for your service." you can say that to the waitstaff. How about, "you've kicked more ass than I'll ever know."

@ActuallyNPH: A heartfelt thank you to all of the men and women who serve(d) in our military. What you did, and continue to do, is awesome.

@DavidRoads: The secret of success is to be ready when your opportunity comes. - Benjamin Disraeli

@AuthorMJFifield: You know you spend too much time playing Angry Birds when you see a picture of someone's house & immediately look for weak spots.

@dawnmetcalf: Grant me the strength to accept the edits I cannot change, the courage to hit the delete key, and the wisdom to know the difference.

@BoobsRadley: Sex life getting boring? Try a trail of rose petals that leads toward your bed but veers into walls and over some marbles, because ahahaha.

@Janet_Reid: Querier just assured me "recommendations don't sell books". Honey,'word of mouth' is exactly what sells books. R is a fancy way to say that.

@geardrops: Bought a Yoo-Hoo. Didn't notice the safety cap was already popped. If this is how I go, remember me as a hero.

@SuzBrockmann: "This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." Shakespeare

@DeathStarPR: Life is like a Jawa: short, hard to understand, mostly about collecting junk and usually ending with getting thrown on a bonfire.





*And by "week" I mean all the stuff since the end of March. Hang on, kids, this will be a lot of 'em.

*Note: As with all TotW, time is very fluid. Also, all tweets are occasionally as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, knick-knack, paddy-whack, and give a dog a bone.

Tweets of the Week: 23 Mar 12

Howdy Fellow Bloggerators. It's been a busy time around the Chirpersphere and, as always, I've tried to dig up the best and brightest nuggets of awesome so you don't have to. So, without further delay, allow me to present the latest installment of CM's

TWEETS OF THE WEE..edgads!...uh....LOOONG TIME*:


 @quarkon: 99 bugs in the legacy code, 99 bugs in the code. Take one down, pass it around. 102 bugs in the legacy code.

@geardrops: I like dreams because I ate a lot of donuts and didn't gain weight. Also a bundt cake. #bundt

@dramacjc: I admire anybody who has the guts to write anything at all.--E. B. White

@Lord_Voldemort7: Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Time waster.

@Epic_Women: Don't think outside the box. Think like there is no box.

@simsea: @geardrops I flirted with not using the Oxford comma for a bit once. It was a young experimental phase. It didn't last.

@Kitiandra: When worry and doubt start to nag at your head...there's always chocolate i suppose.

@JohnathanGunson: For my #Author friends. In case we all forget the number one reason for success: PERSISTENCE.

@whedonesque: Mal: "If anyone gets nosy, just...you know... shoot 'em. " Zoe: "Shoot 'em?" Mal: "Politely."

@licecomb: Swore I heard a faint "ahhhh yeahhh" after my grapefruit squirted me in the face.
           (blogger's note: this one made me snort-laugh my coffee)

@KMWeiland: "Writers need to remember that once the book leaves their hands, it's not theirs anymore. It belongs to its readers..."-Tobias Wolff #writer

@AdviceToWriters: If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. STEPHEN KING #writing #writetip

@AbielleRose: Hello surprise nap, I love you, too.

@DavidRoads: You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. -James D. Miles

@LtCampollo: Warriors by day, lovers by night, professionals by choice & Marines by the grace of God! @USMarineCorps @USMC @usmcquotes hooraa!
           (blogger's note: Semper Fi, Marines)

@anamariecox: Fav quote of 2012, besides those moon-related: "I think you can expect advisers to think that the work of advisers is very, very important."

@jamesscottbell: In Seattle you haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Jeff Bezos

@KellyMeding: Confident choices are sometimes very easy to make. Other times they're quite difficult and you never stop second-guessing yourself.

@AncientProverbs: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Plato

@Saint_Upid: Only people w/ exoskeletons should be writers. Because they would hear the artillery of criticism land & casually remark, "What was that?"

@dribbleglass: If I hear one more person say, "It is what is is," my new motto is going to be "I strangle who I strangle."

@ZacharyLevi: Turmoil in life can often be the most fertile ground for positive change.

@Laughbook: What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left, and then having to decide which grammar crime to commit.
           (blogger's note: the most accurate Twitter tweet, ever.)

@calamityjamie: Listening to my mom lecture my Aunt: "Gamers are good people, Candy! I went to the convention-thing, and they are so polite and fun." #proud

@amergina: Some days, I want to shoot the person who said that the word "was" indicates passive tense.

@TaherehMafi: no one ever tells you that 86% of writing a book is staring at walls, spinning in your chair, & talking to yourself in a british accent.

@DavidRoads: You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could & should do for themselves. -Abraham Lincoln

@FreshFiction: So true "The only place you'll find success before work is in the dictionary. -Vince Lombardi"

@Colin_Hanks: When you really get right down to it, being the man of the house really only means one thing: breaking down ALL the card board boxes.

@Inspired_Ones: Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. -Vince Lombardi

@DavidRoads: Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

@vscotttheauthor: "Live as brave men and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts." Cicero

@4KidLit: Don't annoy science fiction writers. These are people who destroy entire planets before lunch. Think of what they'll do to you. ~John Scalzi

@AuthorMJFifield: I find it rather irritating when people are out for their Sunday drives on a Saturday.
           (blogger's note: word!)

@Georg_Grey: Black holes are where God divided by zero.

@AuthorMJFifield: How come going to the mall is never as much fun as Robin Sparkles makes it out to be?

@geardrops: I am drinking a drink and it is a lot of Kraken.

@whedonesque: Zoe: "Captain will come up with a plan." Kaylee: "That's good. Right?" Zoe: "Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans."

@misterkristoff: Authors: Nobody cares about your book like you do. Not agents, not publishers, not your mum. YOU are always its greatest advocate.

@HillaryJacques: I hope that Heaven is like Firefly.
             (blogger's note: *sigh* me too)

@Papa_Kosh: Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I hate raisins.

@GodFadr: Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.

@scooterchicken: Dear Brownie, If you are not ooey, gooey, and fudgey you are not a brownie. You are short, unfrosted chocolate cake. Thank you, Me

@Sports_Greats: Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit. -Unknown

@Colin_Hanks: Bad ass "olde tyme" medical quote of the day as said by a doctor: "I know of no other way than knife"

@geardrops: Me: I'm debating going. This WFC is in America, next one isn't. - MrMike: I thought it was in Toronto. - Me: Fine, America Junior.

@SandyBoynton: Clarification of tenses: N. twitter V. to tweet Past tense: twert Colloquial past: done twut Rhetorical imperfect: lest he have twüt

@vscotttheauthor: RT @YaBoyBriggzyRT @usmcquotes: Freedom is not free, but the U.S. Marine Corps will pay most of your share. ~Dolan

@vscotttheauthor: RT @DeathStarPR: Happy birthday, John Williams. Thks 4 Imperial March; making even simple walk down corridor a procession of epic badassery.

@Regan_Summers: The best part of this synopsis? "And suddenly, hey, otter!" #AmWriting
          (blogger's note: people, THIS is the reason to follow her and buy her books.)

@LGwenn: Had a great time at the shoot...but I think someone stole my pink latex skirt. #Damnit

@JensBookshelf: I think my neighbours are judging me for my overgrown lawn. Can't wait to see their faces when the rusted car body is delivered tomorrow.

@DeathStarPR: Cool lightsabers are red / Lame ones are blue / Darth Maul has no Valentine / But needs reservations for two. #StarWars

@thinkgeek: Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all my base are belong to you. Happy <3 Day! --'--,--{{@
        
@DeathStarPR: Roses are red / Millenium Falcons are white / You love me? I know. / That's why I got encased in Carbonite. #StarWars

@JensBookshelf: I wish I had a twin so i could be the evil one. I mean I *could* be evil on my own but it seems less exciting.

@inVinceWil: I am the river / waiting to be collected / inside the raindrop #haiku

@vscotttheauthor: Sad but probably true RT @WhskyTngoFxtrot: "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading"
           
@kjhass: @AmaliaTd "Doozies" is a word. Origin: The nickname of the Duesenberg automobile, which was poshiest thing on wheels in its day. Duesy.

@WomenOfHistory: In life you are either a passenger or a pilot, it's your choice. -Unknown

@RobDyerS4C: Never compare your journey with someone else's. Your journey is your journey not a competition :).

@jaymgates: Via @leahbobet, for @geardrops and @TheMidnightOil RT @2house2fly: "The simplest explanation is usually Batman." - Arkham's Razor

@DeathStarPR: #YouKnowShesTheOne if you say, "I know" after she says she loves you, then she comes to rescue you from Jabba's Palace anyway.

@AuthorMJFiField: Sarcasm may not become me but it does sustain me.
             (blogger's note: ahahahaha!!!)

@SteveUmstead: My son's parting shot as he walked out the door to school: "If 666 is considered evil, is 25.8069 the root of all evil?"

@GeorgeTakei: As a fan told me, "To err is human. To arr is pirate."
              (blogger's note: for those not following George, he makes Chirper worthwhile)

@AbielleRose: Only my family would find it funny to watch an aunt take off her prosthetic boob and smack her son with it.
               (blogger's note: Winner of the February WTFLOL Award)

@scadam_skirata: Snooki is pregnant with a due date of December 21, 2012. Well played Mayans. Well played.

@senderblock23: NEWS: scientists discover that doves can't cry. Prince stripped of high school diploma.

@SheviStories: BTW, it takes the average published writer 10 years to get a first book pubbed. That's a lot of rejection along the way. #WritersRoad

@canadian_jane: A teacher, once said, that, I overused commas. What she didn't understand, at all, was that I was writing, like Christopher Walken speaks.

@SuzBrockmann: “@TheRealNimoy: Had dinner with Mr. Quinto last night. Always a great pleasure. LLAP Young Spock.” Only thing better than Spock = 2 Spocks.

@DeathStarPR: There's never a bad time to tell your kids you love them/chop off one of their hands and tell them you're their father.

@ImTracyMorgan: iPhone > Android > Nokia > Land phone > Typewriter > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > Blackberry

@JuliaLizzBeth: Talent greases the wheel, but doesn't turn it. A writer's wheel turns on courage, self-confidence, perseverance, patience, humility, etc.




Note: As with all TotW, time is very fluid. Also, all tweets are occasionally as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, my preciouuuuss, come along Mr. Frodo, and one does not simply walk into Mordor.

Tweets of the Week: 27 Jan 12

Well, we've done it again. Survived another week of 2012 despite our best efforts. And what better way to reward ourselves than with a huge, sweaty roll of 20-dollar-bills?

Sadly, I got none.

Instead, I give you all....

CM's TWEETS OF THE WEEK* (now in technicolor):

@vscotttheauthor: RT @dcPriya: There is something about 2012 -- something in the air, the wind, the sunshine -- that says "This is the year dreams come true."

@LauraSherman: It's kind of fun to do the impossible. – Walt Disney

@scalzi: If I were going to micro brew, I would make "Mandelbrau" -- the world's first fractal beer.

@jasonpinter: Hipsters are just people who aren't cool enough to be nerds. #nerdlove

@YourMindMyWords: Remember: “Wishes are the dreams people aren’t chasing hard enough”

@JensBookshelf: Are we still anticipating the zombie apocalypse or have we moved in? How about the dolphin apocalypse? They're plotting something.

@EllenHooper1: Change doesn't mean memories are lost, but new ones are to be made

@mommy2harper: There is nothing in the world like hearing my three boys make each other laugh hysterically.

@timpratt: When God closes a door, I hammer a wedge under the bottom real good, because if God doesn't want something to get loose, I mean, damn.

@sheumais: @AbielleRose ... so THAT'S where my package ended up!!

@nataliecparker: "Writers aren't exactly people.... they're a whole bunch of people trying to be one person." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

@NikaStewart: I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine

@quickmissive: The Internet makes researching for a WIP so easy. On the other hand, it's also really easy to get cyber lost for an hour or so.

@veschwab: I had a moment today, in the midst of fear & frustration & uncertainty, when I stopped, looked around & remembered this is all an adventure.

@SuzBrockmann: Put the iPhone down, writer! Just put it down and back away! Butt in the chair! Fingers on a real keyboard! Now! Do it now!

@Sean_M_Maher: Admiring the sunrise this morning my daughter gasps with delight, "How did you know those were the colors I wanted ?!?!"

@DeathStarPR: "I love you." "I know." "... You know what? Forget I said anything. Have fun being a wall ornament in Jabba's Palace, a-hole."

@DepressedDarth: The new iPhone is no longer being sold in China due to riots. Everyone knows it's the Droids they are really looking for.

@AuthorMJFifield: Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail. #firefly

@broslife: "You're not my type" is code for "Come back to me after I've had my third Cosmo."

@catvalente: Autocorrect is the natural predator of Tweets.

@badbanana: Einstein took naps during the day. So if you want to be smarter, my advice is to take more naps while having an IQ of 160.

@WhatTheFFacts: The fruit was called orange before the color. The color used to be called geoluhread, which just meant yellow-red.

@TheRomiDames: I know I live in the future because I just had to plug in my book.

@Amelia_blogger: "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear." - MLK

@RebeccaLucente: "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was emotionally unavailable and lived thousands of miles away like me?" - Twitter flirting

@KellyMeding: To the people freaking out because Wikipedia is dark, here's a novel idea: crack open an encyclopedia or something.

@AuthorMJFifield: Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair. #truestory

@strandedhero: You can write a novel without really thinking, but when it comes time to edit you don't have a choice anymore. #amediting

@@JimGaffigan: When is it going to be my turn to be George Clooney’s girlfriend?

@SuzBrockmann: I think of taxes as an investment in my country. I kinda like America, and think investing in it is a good thing.

@AbielleRose: I'll give anyone 1,000,000,000,000.00 if they come finish this desk for me. I'm sick of screwing stuff!

@AbielleRose: F***. I'm drunk. And I have a hammer.

@alan_tudyk: love is the potato, that runs the potato battery, that runs me.

@karenstivali: Just read the word "villain" as "vitamin". I must be deficient...in evil.

@SandyBoynton: An unexpected umlaut can add ironic flair to a humdrum word. For example: hümdrüm.

@alan_tudyk: I work to bring home the bacon; I have a friend who's a ham; an enemy who's a swine; I have a woman I pork..sorry... I'm being a pig.

Aaaaand scene. Have a great weekend, everyone!

*Note: As with all TotW, it’s really the past couple. Also, all tweets are kinda' as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, these are not the droids you're looking for, but I was going to go to Toshie Station to pick up some power converters, hokey religeons and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side, and that's no moon,

Tweets of the Week: 06 Jan 12

So here we are, almost a week into 2012 and it still has the New Year smell to it. And what better way to celebrate than this year's first installment of:

CM’s TWEETS OF THE WEEK!*:


@ericjkrause: Ah, nothing like walking through a crowded public place to restore one’s hate of humanity.

@lazerdoov: I can’t prove God isn’t real, but at the same time, I can’t prove that my dog doesn’t run a violent

Asian street

gang while I’m asleep.

@iamQuddus: if something’s not working in your life-change it-don’t wait for a new calendar year to prompt improvement.

@scalzi: Every time a singer overemotes in a Christmas song, an angel’s wings are torn off and fed to a feral cat.

@Lord_Voldemort7: #WhatILearnedThisYear: When you’re sad, just remember that it’s the demetors fault and it’s perfectly fine to eat loads of chocolate.

@Fatihah_Iman: I think I’d like to write a book that gets released after I die. It will start: “Heaven is AWESOME. There’s so much chocolate!”

@AbielleRose: I believe in the sun, even when its not shining. I believe in love, even when it I don’t feel it. I believe in hope, even when no ones there

@AbielleRose: @TiffanyAllee @BigWords88 Hey baby, wanna bite my big, glazed doughnuts?

@HillaryJacques: Rage, thy name is road. A holiday isn’t an excuse to be an asshat, people.

@JenLucPiquant: Betteridge’s Law of Headlines: “Any headline which ends in a question mark can be answered by the word, ‘no’”

@ispeakfemale: If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. It’s as simple as that.

@JensBookshelf: Anyone who says sarcasm is the lowest form of wit isn’t doing it properly.

@LizzieSavage: the term “expecting” for pregnancy makes it sound like theres more than one outcome. “we’re expecting a baby, but it could be a velociraptor.”

@JensBookshelf: Man walks into a library: “Fish & chips please.”
Librarian: “This is a library!”
Man: “Sorry.” *whispers* “Fish & chips, please.”

@JLeaLopex: It’s PIQUED, people! Not PEAKED! They do not mean the same thing! #petpeeve

@BradWalsh: You can help victims of Accidentally Sexual Auto-Correction for just penis a day…

@MusclesGlasses: New Years Resolution: Kill more of what I eat with my bare hands.

@billamend: Open a bag of Cheetos at noon and it lasts for days. Open one at midnight and it’s gone in 30 minutes.

@jjunebrown: “A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.” – Franz Kafka

@joseph_ocon: Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. Piss on my leg and tell me I’m pretty.

@BookaliciousPam: I just realized the world isn’t going to end in 2012. Marty McFly time traveled to 2015…. #MayansLie

@misterkristoff: If you live life afraid of offending people with the words you write or the things you say, you’’’ NEVER write or say anything important.

@simmertilldone: It’s Thanksgiving, it’s Christmas, it’s Hanukkah, it’s new Years and then, with no warning, it’s just Tuesday.

@EvanJGregory: Just because you’re crass doesn’t mean you’re funny.

@Heir2Harlem: Life is a reflection of what you think, if thoughts are filled with negativity, the world echos your energy’s action.

@ForeverImmature: What to do with a mistake: Recognize it, admit it and learn from it.

@NathanFillion: Overheard at the coffee shop.

Him – I broke up with my girlfriend.
Her – Oh, no! When?
Him – As soon as she gets this text.

@AbsoluteWrite: It bears saying again- Righteous indignation is a lot like drinking good martinis: it’s SO hard to recognize the appropriate stopping point.

@ForeverImmature: Affection + Attention + Appreciation = Long Lasting Relationship.


Whew! Thanks to those who stayed to the end. Have a great weekend and here's hoping 2012 is off to a great start for you.





*Note: Okay, there are a lot of better ways, but humor me here. Also, as with all TotW, it’s really the past couple, including the holidays. And finally, all tweets are kinda' as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, new and improved formula, 33% more action, fights tough stains, and stronger than the leading competitor!

Tweets of the Week: 16 Dec 11

It's that time of year again: The Season of Giving. Therefore, I give you this week's installment of CM's:

Tweets of the Week:*

@Michael_A-Tate: Alright words, look out because I'm going hunting. And when I catch you I'm going to arrange you for display in my zoo...I mean story.

@LovelyWhenReady: If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

@AncientProverbs: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellent, then, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

@ReadWriteLuv: "A committed writer sentences himself to death." -Unknown #humor (ROFL must've been a run-on sentence.)

@HillaryJacques: So glad people can't see me inside stand-up tanning booths. Not because I'm naked, but beacuse I'm doing the robot. Badly.

@JensBookshelf: Sometimes I think I should be a proper grown up and follow politics. Then I remember I like stories with character development.

@herebemagic: I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Dr Suess.

@StaciaDecker: Amazingly, agents would rather allot unpaid work hrs to developing existing clients than to queries from strangers who call them idiots.

@Greorg_Grey: Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.











*Note: All tweets are kinda' as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, 15% off retail, buy one get one free, doorbuster sales, and no interest until 2013!

Tweets of the Week: 11 Nov 11 (belated)

Due to participation in hometown festivities on Friday*, followed by a weekend of merriment and spine-tingling adventure with CobraMrsFit, I failed to click "Publish Post." Apologies for denying the masses this "week's" unpastuerized dose of awesome, lovingly referred to (*cough*onlybyme*cough*) as:

Tweets of the Week**

@alan_tudyk: When it comes to people, places, and things, lately, I find that people and places just complicate things.

@BadAstronomer: If I somehow became the richest man on Earth I would still stand in the kitchen at night and eat Honeycombs dry right out of the box.

@zachbraff: I just decided you're going to have the best day ever!

@AdviceToWriters: If writing seems hard, it's because it is hard. WILLIAM ZINSSER #amwriting #writing #writetip #NaNoWriMo

@hobronto: Everybody, this is important. Please pay attention: A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly, and is also known as a buster. Thank you.

@rdonoghue: The only person who ever really objects to killing the messenger is the messenger. Sadly, that's only one voice.

@hijinksensue: "And finally, to Mr. Harry Potter, for outstanding courage and for murdering Professor Quirell, 60 points to Gryffindor House."

@DeathStarPR: Force lightning hits me so hard, Makes me say, "Ow, my Lord!" Thank you for blasting me With 40000 amps of electricity. Stop, Palpa Tine.

@Broslife: A honorary U-S-A! U-S-A to all the veterans out there. Your bravery inspires me to be even more awesome.

@AM_Preston: Appropriate: You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. Ray Bradbury.





*Thank you to each and every service member for your sacrifice and bravery.

**Note: All tweets are mostly as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, the Power of Love, dude looks like a lady, rocking around the clock, and hello-is it me you’re looking for?

Tweets of the Week: 04 Nov 11

The Twittersphere provided even more gems and droppings of wisdom for this week's installment of:

Tweets of the Week*:
@LGwenn RT @MacDibble “When the going gets weird, the weird turn professional.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

@LGwenn RT @EmperorFranzen Not to trivialize childbirth, but bringing a novel to full-term is much more difficult than popping out a brat.

@BronxZoosCobra Trick or treat, I have no feet, give me something good to slowly digest over several days. #happyhalloween

@LGwenn RT @dianagill Shoes that are hiking/work boots in the front and high heels in the back are footwear's mullets.

@badbanana A hat and cape used to mean you were well off. Now it means you're in a marching band.

@micheleboyd Ah, Halloween. The day when the cosplayers look at the rest of the world and say, "Aww. How cute."

@sirra_girl There are two types of writers. Some write for money, so they publish. Anything. The others write to pursue their dreams of being published.

@KellyMeding RT @LawrencePearce Good quote RT @jasonpinter: "Nobody but a reader ever became a writer." --Richard Peck #TweensRead

@WritersDigest "Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see." -Arthur Schopenhauer





*Note: Give or take a TON of human error, all tweets are mostly as they appear in my feed to include RT credits (when able), trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, misrepresentations, raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, and cows jumping over the moon.

Tweets of the Week: 28 Oct11

Continuing the tradition, here is this week's sampling of the awesome splattered across the Twittersphere:

Tweets of the Week*:

@alan_tudyk: my mutual love of jogging and baked goods has me fluctuweighting

@alan_tudyk: Young women in LA do terrible things to themselves in the name of beauty. Recently, it’s gone too far. Please, take the 80’s Mom jeans off.

@zachbraff: “The McRib”: for people who have no interest in meeting their grandkids.

@kpereira: Fear of failure makes you boring. #notetoself

@Dolly_Parton: The question I get asked the most is ‘are they real?’ …Well, of course not. They’re acrylic. I could never grow my nails this long!!

@hijinksensue: Kiddo singing Beauty And The Bear: “Trailer old as time…”

@Papa_Kosh: RT @OptimusSubprime: My current fitness level can be summed up with these three words: “JABBA NO BOTHER”.

@WritersDigest: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

@Janet_Reid: AIEEEEE! Just spelled an editor's name wrong in the salutation! ARGH! Yes, query letter writers, this happens. Prepare for end of the world.




*Note: Give or take some human error, all tweets are mostly as they appear in my feed to include RT credits, trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, misrepresentations, caution: slippery when wet, danger: high voltage, warning: curves ahead, and batteries not included.

Tweets of the Week

Considering the ample amount of awesome scattered across the Twittersphere, I decided to start keeping track of tweets that are simply too fantastic to merely be tagged as "favorite" or just retweeted. But rather than force people to hunt through billions of stellar tweets like, "I go to groceries, LOL", I've taken it upon myself to compile some of the epicness for your viewing pleasure in a semi-regularish installment called Tweets of the Week*. And now, without further ado, I present to you all the inaugural posting of:

CM's TWEETS OF THE WEEK:**

@sirra_girl: Night all ~ Someday, the words you've slaved over for months will touch some reader's heart for years.Write on, writers~

@alyankovic: I don't need washboard abs. I've got front-loading Energy Star-compliant abs.

@NickHGarrison: You dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Which is why I'm dressed as a fireman. A sexy-space-cowboy-fireman-president.


@RDavidMacNeil: Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

@SethMacFarlane: All the autotune in the world still doesn't sound as cool as talking into a desk fan.

@JSCarroll: new phrase of the day: Hanker Sore - adj. finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off.

@sirra_girl: SOME editors/agents/reviewers mock and then laugh at newbie writers. They're unprofessional douches on power trips. Don't give up, writers. Write!

@hprw: FAB! RT @farynblack: @tmminchin Some helium floats into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." The helium doesn't react.

@HarryPotterish: "When I'm 80 years old, I'll be reading Harry Potter. My family will say, 'After all this time?' and I will say 'Always.'" - Alan Rickman

@Rowan_Atkinson: Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics iz like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

@Papa_Kosh: A man's place is in the kitchen, standing in front of the microwave, wondering if he has to stop it half way through and flip the nuggets.

@grantimahara: #ladygagamath RT @jolieodell: From a @Mashable editor: (RAH)²(AH)³ + [ROMA (1+MA)] + (GA)² + (OOH)(LA)²


@alyankovic: Next time Netflix wants to make a rash, impulsive decision, maybe they should just buy a puppy or get a tattoo. #RIPQwikster


@DeathStarPR: We're pleased to confirm that today's #OccupyAlderaan protests ended swiftly and peacefully. Sorry, "fully in pieces."


@GeorgeTakei: I've said it before: You either need a calendar on your "smart" phone, or an organized spouse. Either way, keep 'em nearby--and turned on.


So, there you have it. More to follow in the coming weeks.


*Note: all tweets are exactly as they are in my feed to include RT credits, trends, misspells, poor punctuation, lies, misrepresentations, alien abductions, removing the tag from the mattress, void where prohibited, and may have been made with nuts.

**insert the sound of tens of applauding/screaming fans here.