Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Holy Cow!

The bottom level of my office building is in the process of a major renovation intended to update the bland, beige architecture of 40 years ago to something more modern. Inch by inch, the Powers That Be are replacing the drab of yester-year with blinding LED lights, explosive colors, and unicorns*. But the thing that has been getting the most attention isn't the decor, but the food court. Being offered double the number of eating establishments that we had before, the lines during the lunch hour have been staggering.

And today, the fooding** experience got EVEN crazier.

Lemme caveat this by saving that I love meat. I'm a carnivore and will hammer down a steak or burger with gleeful delight. Not that I don't respect the vegetarians, vegans, and other dietary people out there because I do. Big time. It's just that I have a very passionate love affair with red meat.

Apparently, so do elebenty-billion other people because the entire building has been overrun with talk about the new burger joint that opened today. "Have you ever eaten there?" "There is one near my house." "My kids love the fries." "Someone please unlock the bathroom." Etc.

Most of the chatter was just white-noise until a co-worker returned from his lunchtime trek with a huge, greasy bag. I'll admit, it smelled fantastic until he mentioned how the employee handed him a ticket with Order #372 and they were only on Order #63. It took almost an hour for them to get him his fast food.

Of course, I HAD to see the insanity for myself, so I trotted downstairs, rounded the corner, and stopped cold.  The Great Line was somewhere between "LOLWhut" and "Redonkulous".

What's even more mind-boggling is that my friend, and I suspect many other patrons, will stay a little later this evening to make up the time they spent standing.

In Line.

For a hamburger.

Seriously, people, it's just a burger. Cow, two buns, ketchup, done. Nothing overly complicated with that math. But one look at the line and you'd think the meat could cure colds, complete your taxes, or grant you three wishes.

Realistically, it's just the novelty of Something Different. Having dined at each establishment several times, I can understand the appeal of a new place, but until the Burger Craze dies down, I have little interest in their meat-on-a-bun. Especially if it means having to make up the time.

Unless it really does grant wishes, in which case, order up!

*Okay, maybe the lights aren't that bright.... 

**It is SO a word!

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